Research suggests that Authoritative Parenting is the best among other parenting approach. Parenting is not an exact science like math, physics, etc. There is definitely no formula to raise good children. There are some types of parenting approach, however researchers consistently found in their examinations that Authoritative Parenting is the best one among others. Most authoritative parents raise happier and healthier children and those children are equipped with useful life skill to face their real world.
Everybody is able to, and should be more authoritative in raising their children. Here are strategies we recommend you to implement authoritative parenting to your children:
1. Authoritative Parents Always Hearing Their Children
Authoritative parenting style encouraging parents that they have to always hear to their children and frequently do discussions to their children. Authoritative parents always should be a good listener to their children, even if their children telling the same jokes for several times, or sharing long-winded stories. Positive attention can prevent children from having behavior problems.
As on our previous articles that authoritative parenting is more like the opposite of authoritarian parenting. Authoritarian parents believe that children is should only be seen and not heard. They do not hear to their children at all.
2. Considering Children’s Feeling
It is important for parents, especially authoritarian, to take their children’s feeling into their consideration. However, do not give them “all-out”. It does not mean that children always get an equal vote. It is more like that parents do not care about their children and it it more like permissive parenting style.
Best way to do it is that parents should show that they are in charge, but care that every decisions parents made can affect the whole family. The simple example is that parents can ask about what their children feel if the family should move away to other country, rather than ask them is it okay or not to move across. They are still children and lack of wisdom and experience, anyway.
3. Validating Children’s Emotion
Children’s feeling is very fundamental and it should be acknowledged. Parents should help children to identify their children’s emotion and recognizing that their feelings affect their behavior. It is better to correct children’s behavior rather than their emotion.
The most concrete example of Authoritative parenting is that parents can tell to children that it is normal to be sad, but they have to get-up and rise soon. It is okay to be angry, but there are consequences if they broke things. They can say “I know that you are really angry right know” rather than “Shut up! There is no reason for you to be angry!”
4. Clearing Every Rules
Children should know about every rules made by parents. Every rule is clear in authoritative family. They should know why they are supposed to and not supposed to do things. They should know the reasons behind every rules and know their parents’ expectations toward them.
The example is that parents can ask “Eat your breakfast so your body has enough nutrition to study. It would ease you to learn in the school.” Children are able to know that breakfast is good for their body and they can initiative eat their breakfast even you do not ask it in the future.
Further ways to be more authoritative parents can be read in our next post. Check it out!